Bittersweet Pain
by Blood-Stained BallGowns
Summary: "To late.." Maka Albarn is going through a rough time. Hiding, hurting, and blaming herself for something that wasn't her fault. Rated T for use of language, and self harm


I sat there crying. The blade tightened in my hands. A line of scars, old and new lined my arms, like trees in a hedge-row.

"No more crying, Maka" I chanted, rhythmically rocking back and forth as the words left my mouth. I placed the knife a few inches away from my wrist, pressed down on it, and pulled it away in one swift motion. A thin line of blood began flowing down my wrist. I would have cried out in pain, but this pain was one I was used to. It isn't as bad as the pain I use it to mask.

"Maka? Are you in there? I have your breakfast." Soul said through the door.

No, no, no! Soul shouldn't be up yet, he cant see me a weeping mess, with a damn bloody knife in my hands!

"Y-Yeah! I'm-I'm fine! Just leave it there!" I stuttered to excited. Let's just say, I'm not a morning person, and Soul caught right on.

"Maka, come the hell out. Or I'm coming in." He said. I heard the doorknob turn.

"No! Soul, you can't see me like this. Please! Just go away!" I said pacing back and forth. The knife still tightly grasped in my hand, blood dripping to the floor.

"To late." He said opening the door. Once he registered what I was doing, he basically went into shock. "Maka... Why would you do... This?" He gestured at the blood soiled knife in my hand.

"You almost died because of me! I-I don't know what I would do if I lost you... And I can't bear to think about it..." I replied, dropping the knife on the ground. It landed with a clatter on the hardwood floor.

"Maka... I put myself in front of you, to protect you. All wounds heal, some just take longer than others." He said, eyeing my wrist. "Are you Ok?" He stepped toward me.

"Soul... " I looked at the floor. "Your life without me, would be amazing for you... You could be anyone you wanted to... I'm just holding you back. You could do great things without me..."

"Maka! Don't say things like that! If I didn't have you, I would be nothing. Do you hear me?! Nothing! I can't stand to see you like this! And I love you too damn much to stand by and do nothing! Understand?! So I want to hear nothing about this 'You'd be so much better without me' shit! It kills me to see you like this!' He said.

He walked toward me, and pulled me into his embrace.

I just stood there and cried.

"Maka..." He murmured in my ear. "If you EVER feel like you have to do this again, come talk to me. I don't care where I am, where you are. I will find you, and hug you, and show you affection until you calm down and are ready to talk, but I NEVER want this to happen again. Are we clear?"

"Y-Yes! I'm s-so sorry!" I sobbed, burying my face into the crook of his neck.

There we stood, him rocking me rhythmically back and forth, muttering things to calm me down. My wrist had dried blood crusted all over it, but I didn't care. I never wanted that moment to end.

"S-Soul?" I whispered, taking my face away from his neck.

"Yes, my love?" He replied, wiping tears from my eyes with his thumb.

"T-Thank you." Was all I could choke out before I began sobbing again. This time Soul picked me up like a small child, cradled in his arm, and walked me into our living room. He sat on the couch, me sitting on his lap, leaning into his chest crying.

"It's Ok, Maka. Nothing's going to happen to you... I promise.." He said rubbing my back. My wails soon faded,

and my eyelids grew heavy. I hadn't gotten a good night sleep in ages. I sat in bed most of the time. Dark circles seemed to be tattooed under my eyes.

"Soul.. I'm tired..." said with a small, childlike voice, rubbing my eyes like I did when I was five, and let out a soft yawn. I leaned into his chest, and closed my eyes.

I heard his heart beating. Loud, and strong. Almost like a base drum.

"Then go to sleep, silly." He said gently, wrapping a strong arm around my small frame.

I guess I've lost some weight due to stress. I only way 89 pounds. And I'm almost 17. My ribs stuck out, and my waist was too small. I barely fit into a child's large in most stores.

"Ok Soul..." I mumbled, before falling asleep.

~OOO~

"Maka.. You gotta wake up, and eat something." I heard Soul, speaking in a smaller voice than normal.

"Hmm? What... What time is it?" I muttered, half asleep. I opened my eyes to see I was still in the same position

as before.

"It's almost 9 o'clock. You slept all day. Now come on, I'll make you something to eat." He said, picking me up, and carrying me one room over. He set on the counter, and went to the fridge.

"Do we have any cheesecake left over from Tuesday night?" I asked, swinging my legs back and forth.

"Yeah, I didn't eat it. I left it for you. Do you want that?" He asked taking out the container.

"Yes, please. It sounds yummy!" I said, laughing at how child-like I sounded.

"After I look at your arm, you can eat Ok?" He said

"Ok, Soul." I said hopping down from the counter. I lost my balance a little, but he ran over and caught me.

After I was steadily on the ground, he walked over to the kitchen sink, and turned on the water. "Come here,

Maka." He said, smiling at me. I walked over and stuck my arm under the water. At first the cool liquid running down my arm felt nice, then it started to sting, and burn.

"Soul! It hurts!" I yelled ripping my arm out from under the faucet.

"Maka, I know it does, it's Ok though, you're all done." He said. He grabbed a dish cloth and pat my arm dry. "Let me get a bandage."

"Ok, Soul. Have fun!" I said sarcastically.

"I will!" He said back. He trotted into the bathroom and returned with a roll of gauze, and medical tape.

"Over dramatic much?" I said, giggling.

* * *

_ Welp... I was sad when I wrote this, Ok?! And, I'm happy now, *cough* Sorta *cough* that's all that matters!_


End file.
